


You gave me peace in a lifetime of war

by Spencer_Grey



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: A+ Parenting, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dad!Murphy, Murphy is a good dad, Nightblood!Murphy, Post-Season/Series 04, Pre-Season/Series 05, Season/Series 05, dont question the timeline, for real this time, just go with it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-17 12:40:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21054557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spencer_Grey/pseuds/Spencer_Grey
Summary: Broken and screaming, Murphy volunteers in place of Emori - letting Clarke experiment on him as she pleases. It works and Murphy becomes a nightblood. He is left on Earth as Praimfaya ravages, this - as like many things - does not kill him and eventually he finds his way to the Shallow Valley. And to Madi.He finally gets the family he's always wanted, always needed.





	You gave me peace in a lifetime of war

Murphy watches the rocket fade into the sky and there’s nothing more painful than knowing that the only people he’s ever loved - Bellamy and Emori - are on it. And he’s stuck on Earth, Praimfaya on its way. 

A piece of him knows better than to blame them, that their survival is the most important thing to them but still, he’s a little bitter - more afraid than anything. 

The death wave passes, and Murphy holds his breath the entire time - waiting.  _ This is it _ , he thinks as the radiation nears, _ this is how the cockroach dies, alone and with black blood _ . Everything around him is torn apart, the plants and ground scorched as Praimfaya takes everything in its path - everything except for him. 

Murphy releases his breath, cautious and unsure, his eyes opening slowly to see the destruction around him. He’s alive - breathing rather raggedly and shaking all over, but alive nonetheless. The corner of his mouth twitches up before he lets out a loud laugh, letting his cackle travel through the empty space. 

John Murphy - the cockroach, the selfish, the survivor - volunteered to be a lab rat in place of the woman he loves because a world without her light is not a world he wants to live in, the boy banished in result of a child’s death, the chain, imprisoned, the tortured,  _ that  _ Murphy is potentially the last living thing on the planet. 

Whether there is a God above, he doesn’t know, but they would be the sickest bastard out there, to leave Murphy alive but alone. 

This thought sticks with him as he travels the barren wasteland, taking the rover as far as it goes. When it eventually breaks down, Murphy finds himself wishing for Raven - funny, considering he once tried to kill her. He looks up at the sky often, wondering if she or Bellamy or anyone is looking down at him. 

He doubts it - hoping that Emori will forget him quick enough. 

He doesn’t forget her, though. The further he walks, the more he relies on all those memories he made with her. When Murphy reaches a desert, stretching all the way to the horizon, he holds onto the memory of her face, her laugh, the sound of her voice. With the sun beating down onto his burnt face, memories of Bellamy slip in and now, he’s too exhausted to push them aside like he once did. 

Those precious, precarious days between landing on Earth and the hanging were some of the best of Murphy’s life. Bellamy and Murphy, the leaders of a feral pack of teenagers - but it was enough just to be at Bell’s side. 

Murphy realises he’s hallucinating when he hears Bellamy’s voice, strong and commanding as always. He hears him, right by his side, almost feeling his hand glide into his - this is when he knows it’s all an illusion. Bellamy had and would never hold him like that, feel the same way back - and though Murphy made his peace with this long ago, it still left a resounding ache in his chest. 

Murphy thinks that it’s Bell’s hand that takes the gun from his belt, it’s his first love that rests it against his skull, his finger on the trigger. 

He realises his hand feels heavy from the weapon, it trembles with him. Death is looming over his shoulder, it’s familiar, almost comforting to be greeted with it again. Murphy had known death all his life - his father’s frozen scream, his mother’s vomit-covered corpse, the noose around his own neck, a smaller gun under his chin. And like every other time death smiles at him, Murphy is alone.

He’s on his knees, hot sand burning his legs and as his finger is about to pull the trigger - death closer than it’s ever been - the cry of a bird breaks him from its hold. A bird means life - it means food, water, and shelter are nearby, and Murphy almost cries at the mere thought. 

-

Murphy finds the valley, vibrant green, full of life - proof he’s not alone after all. He also finds a girl - a  _ child _ , matted hair and wild eyes. He thinks for a moment that she’s more animal than anything. He came across her as he discovered an abandoned village, he can only stare at her for a silent minute before she’s gone, racing into the forest. 

He’s tempted to follow her, the first human he’s seen in months but he doesn’t. He could see how afraid she was, body tense and rigid as she watched him - and chasing after a fearful child doesn’t seem like the best idea. 

Instead, Murphy begrudgingly tries to remember what little information he learned from Earth Skills on the Ark - a little bitter that Jaha had actually taught him anything. 

He needs a water source before anything else. So, he picks a direction and starts walking. 

It’s unnerving, he realises, how this small patch of land is completely untouched by Praimfaya. He almost forgot what grass looked like. The sun streams down in gentle waves here, no longer aggressive on his skin. 

Murphy comes across the small lake a few minutes later, the water still and clear. He eyes it for a moment though - the last time he’d been near any body of water, a sea monster tried to kill him. He finds a rock and throws it as hard as he can, it lands with a splash that sends ripples all the way to shore. But other than that, there’s no movement and he can only assume the lake is empty. 

Moving so that he laid on his stomach, head right by the water, Murphy cups his hands and scoops it into his mouth. He drinks greedily, desperate - and feels the cool liquid travel down his throat, landing in his empty stomach. It’s a shame the bird meat had gone off. 

He washes his face, relishing in the refreshment when his eyes flick up instinctively. He sees the wisp of long hair dart around a tree just across from him. 

The child is watching him, he realises. He pretends as if he never noticed her, picking himself up and turns back the way he came. As he neared the village again, he hears a small rustle of leaves - one so quiet that if he hadn’t been listening he never would’ve heard. Murphy smiles to himself, wondering how long she’s willing to follow him. 

He continues to ignore her once he reaches the village, instead he racks his brain for the few survivor lessons he’d been taught, Jaha's and Emori’s voice guiding him. He finds equipment for snares, fumbling with them before getting them set, and investigates his new home. 

-

Murphy burns the bodies of the villagers that night, the large pyre lighting up the darkness. And further away, he makes a smaller fire - roasting the rabbit he caught. He rips off a piece, impaling it on a stick, and sets it aside. Murphy turns his back on it, watching the bright flames of the pyre leap for the sky. 

There’s no sound but Murphy knows when to turn around - the meat is gone. 

This is the pattern for the next week. Murphy leaves out a portion of whatever food he had collected, and the child comes from the forest to take it. He can’t help but smile when he sees her emerge this time, they keep steady eye contact as she takes meat - and to his surprise - she sits down. 

The small fire separates them as they eat in uncomfortable, but not tense silence. 

“Do you speak English?” Murphy asks, not surprised when she doesn’t respond. He’s suddenly regretting not asking Emori for more lessons in Trigedasleng. He racks his brain for a moment before speaking again. “John Murphy kom Skaikru.” 

The child’s eyes light up momentarily before she shuts her emotions down again. “John,” she repeats. “Madi kom Louwoda Kliron Kru.” 

Though Murphy doesn’t recognise that clan, he’s practically beaming - her voice is coarse and quiet but he knows to count it as progress. 

Madi watches him throughout the night, as if he’ll suddenly turn on her. He painfully recognises it, her wariness too familiar so he keeps his movements slow, his footsteps loud. 

She falls asleep near the fire, face relaxed into the perfect picture of innocence. Murphy finds himself watching her, as non-creepily as he could - the last child he’d actually interacted with was Charlotte. 

In that moment, Murphy vows to never hurt this girl. 

-

It’s been two months since Murphy found the Shallow Valley and Madi - four since Praimfaya - and for the first time, Madi has finally let Murphy tackle the matted mess that was her hair. 

They sit near the shore, Murphy at Madi’s side as she leans back in the water. He had given up using a hairbrush on her, his fingers carding through her thick locks - tugging and pulling apart the knots. 

“Ow. Ow.  _ Ow _ .” 

Murphy brushes aside her complaints, they’d been there for almost an hour and he’d made little progress. He had suggested cutting it after finding a blunt knife - which she adamantly refused; and though he wasn’t exactly sure what she had said, it seemed as though Madi had threatened to stab him with that knife if he tried. 

He knew she wasn’t joking but was strangely proud of it. 

“John,” Madi hisses, squirming in the water to turn and face him. “It hurts.” 

“ _ Deal with it _ ,” he answers in Trig, his pronunciation is choppy at best and Madi is always sure to correct him. 

She’s learning English quicker than he’s learning Trig - even though he had a head start with Emori’s few lessons. 

“But it  _ hurts _ .”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Murphy replies. He examines the little work before him, knowing it would hours longer until he detangles the mess. “Okay, let’s get lunch.”

Madi perks up at that, leaping from the lake and running ashore. He takes his time, watching her fondly as she shakes the water from her body. 

“John,” she says in a tone he knows to mean “ _ hurry up _ ” - so he rolls his eyes and joins her side. 

-

Murphy makes the fire earlier that night - letting Madi’s hair dry as he brushes out the last small remaining knots. She’s quiet now, gnawing on a slab of bird meat so that her groans are muffled. 

With her hair soft and dry, Murphy begins something he’d never imagined himself doing. He tries replaying the blurry memory in his head, struggling to see the way Raven moves - hands and fingers moving around with ease. But he gets the basics. 

He takes Madi’s hair and tries - very poorly - to braid it back. She leans back into his hands as he twists the locks of hair back and forth. 

It takes four attempts and one frustrated “ _ I give up _ ,” but eventually, Murphy manages to make a semi-decent, loose braid that goes down the length of Madi's back. 

It takes a few months of practice for Murphy to get good at it, the action becoming one of the major bonding points for the pair - Murphy’s steady hands in Madi’s hair. 

-

Murphy almost collapses with relief after escaping Diyoza and her crew of prisoners - Echo holding him from behind to keep his mouth shut is the only thing that keeps him upright. From the dark forest emerges a group, Emori and Monty - Harper even. And Madi. 

He can’t help the smile that spreads across his face, instinctively opening his arms as she broke into a sprint. Madi collides with him, making him stumble backward. Her arms wrap around him, holding him tightly - one of his hands comes up to cup the back of her head. 

“Hate to break up the reunion but we need to move,” Echo says. 

Murphy forces himself to let go, his hands resting on Madi’s shoulders. He meets Emori’s gaze - her face a mixture of longing and gentle fondness. 

“Now.” Echo leads the group, her eyes scanning the forest with a warrior’s focus. 

Murphy is more than happy to follow - the shock collar around his throat chafing his skin as they jog for the rover. Madi’s hand is in his, her grip bone-crushing tight as if he’d slip away. Emori is on his other side. She stays close to him, glancing at him and opening her mouth to speak but decides against it. 

“Listen,” Murphy says, “we can talk when we’re not running from some psychos trying to kill us.” 

“Guess we’ll never talk then,” Emori replies, her smile still as dazzling as it was six years ago - still makes his heart flutter. 

They reach the rover, piling in as quickly as possible and Madi drives them away. Murphy can feel every set of eyes behind him watching him and Madi - their confusion heavy in the air. 

“So, Murphy,” Monty starts, unsure of himself. “You found a kid?” 

“I found him,” Madi corrects. She sends Murphy a grin when he sticks his tongue out at her. “He wouldn’t have lasted a day without me.” 

“Hey - ” Murphy nudges her arm - “I spent fifty-eight days without you.”

“Didn’t know you could count that high.” 

There’s a small, “Oh no,” from Harper behind them. 

“There’s two of them,” Monty finishes. 

Murphy scoffs. “Gone for six years and this is how you - ”

Electricity tears through Murphy’s body. 

He can only clench his jaw, squeezing his eyes shut tight as the pain travels from the collar. Distantly, he hears Madi’s voice and he wants to reassure her but the words get stuck in his throat, dying there as a small groan escapes his lips. 

He thinks he hears Monty say something, only catching, “Madi, go back.” 

The rover moves backward. An eternity later, the electricity is gone as quickly as it came. His taut muscles relax, his body slumping in his seat as he takes deep, ragged breaths. 

“John?” Madi asks gently, her soft hand cups his cheek - guiding his face to look at her. “Are you okay?”

Murphy takes a moment to calm his racing heart before answering. With his old friends back, the urge to lie - to hide himself - lays just on the tip of his tongue. And he’s ready to spill them all but he looks in Madi’s wide, unguarded eyes - and it all fades away. 

“Been better, one more shock and we’re gonna have a problem.” He takes a look into the back of the rover, almost groaning as a realisation dawns on him. 

As if reading his mind - which she is very much capable of - Madi shakes her head. “No, John. You can’t,” she insists. 

“I’m putting you in danger.” 

“John?” Emori asks. “What do you mean?” 

Looking at her is no less hard than looking at Madi. Emori’s dark eyes are filled with fear - hurt even - and it kills him to know that it’s his fault. 

“You have to leave me here - go without me,” Murphy explains, casting his gaze to someone easier to look at. He thought Echo would be a good substitution but he’s able to recognise the look of guarded emotions. “Or you’re all gonna get caught.”

“John.” He can’t bring himself to look at Madi. 

Eyes bouncing between those in the back of the rover, Murphy speaks - not a request but a demand, voice firm and strong. “Keep her safe.” 

Murphy’s out the door before Madi can react and he prays that she’ll just drive away. But he realises, painfully, that she’s taken after him - his stubborn ass especially. He hears a door slam and sighs. 

Madi storms around the rover and although she has to look up at him, there’s a fury burning in her eyes.

“Get in the rover, Madi.” 

“You first.” 

A breeze passes through the forest, blowing the loose strands of her braid and Murphy has to resist the urge to fix it. He glances into the rover - his patience wearing thin. 

But just when he’s prepared to match Madi’s anger and stubbornness, another realisation hits him. And he wonders just how alike they truly are. 

“Madi, I know you’re scared but please, you need to go.” Murphy puts both hands onto her shoulders, giving them a squeeze. 

“Don’t go,” she begs, her mask dropping almost instantly. 

“Hey,” Murphy says, delicate fingers coming to lift her chin. “I’ll be fine. I always am.” 

He leans down, lips brushing against her forehead. Madi quickly envelops herself into his arms - burrowing her head into his neck after he knelt down to her height. 

Pulling away leaves an ache in his bones, his arms empty and it feels like a stab in the chest when Madi climbs back into the rover. 

Echo clambers into the front seat, winding down the window. “She’ll be safe with me, I promise.” 

“Thank you.” 

Madi slams her foot onto the accelerator, the rover flying away and it reveals Emori standing in front of him. 

Murphy only smiles, at least he isn’t alone. 

-

After having piled onto the Eligius ship and the only survivable piece on Earth destroyed, Murphy sits in the hospital wing - his right arm drenched in dried blood. 

Jackson pulls the last bullet from Murphy’s shoulder, stitching the wounds together with steady hands. Madi’s grip on Murphy’s hand and arm tightens as she watches it. 

“You know I’m the one in pain, right?” he teases. 

“It’s gross.” And yet, her eyes stay fixed on Murphy, the needle going in and out of his flesh. 

“Hey, Jackson, what’s the worst injury you’ve seen?” Murphy asks, laughing as Madi squirms and covers her ears. 

Jackson only rolls his eyes, covering the wounds with gauze. “Just keep it clean and you’ll be fine.” He starts to back up his equipment and turns to leave before saying over his shoulder, “One time I saw an infected cut, the whole thing was oozing pus and green.” 

Madi let’s a sharp, high pitched squeal. Murphy puts his good arm around her, laughing at her disgust. 

“ _ I hate you _ ,” she says in Trig. 

“ _ You love me.” _

Murphy beams down at her, fiddling with her hair. He tucks a lock behind her ear, brushing the ends over her shoulder. He’s about to tease her again when something on her neck catches his eyes. 

“Madi, what happened?” His fingers brush lightly over the dark marks on her throat - anger floods through him when he sees how it wraps around her neck. Burns, they’re burn marks matching his own from the shock collar. 

Her eyes drop and he feels her entire body tense up - she shifts away slightly. 

“Madi,” Murphy repeats. “Who did this?” 

Madi sighs. “I wanted to help my people and she wouldn’t let me.” 

“She?” 

“Clarke, she - ”

Murphy jumps to his feet, rage like no other setting his blood ablaze - hatred fueling him as he stalks the halls of the Eligius ship. His heart is pounding in his ears, chest burning. He’s sure that he’s leaving smoking footprints as he marches - uncaring of what catches alight after him. 

He finds the bridge in a blink of an eye - and his gaze settles on Clarke in less than a heartbeat. 

Murphy’s body is borderline trembling - a monster starts hunting his prey and Clarke is slammed against the nearest wall before either can process it. 

He can hear people behind him but nothing they say can stop him. 

“What the fuck is wrong you?” Murphy demands, pressing Clarke harder against the wall - her head slamming back. 

Her bright eyes are wild, afraid as she stutters on her answer. She glances behind him, silently begging for help. 

“Look at me.” His voice is so low - rough - that it tears the back of his throat. His shoulder aches badly but he ignores it. “Don’t  _ ever  _ touch her again!” 

Strong hands grab Murphy, digging into his fresh wounds and he winces. The pain grounds him back in reality long enough for him to realise it’s Bellamy pulling him back. 

“That’s enough, Murphy,” he says - his eyes flicker behind him. “Not in front of Madi,” he adds quietly. 

Murphy doesn’t need to turn to know she’s standing there, he can imagine her face - and it’s almost enough to calm him down. Almost. It’s for her, he thinks, he has to protect her. 

“You’re scaring her,” Clarke mutters just loud enough for him to hear. Her face is so earnest, so sure of herself. 

His attention lands on her again, the bubbling anger over boiling and it all comes spilling out. 

“ _ I’m _ scaring her? Who’s the one that put a shock collar on her?” 

“What?” someone breaths, through the rage he can’t tell. But Murphy turns back to Bellamy. 

“She electrocuted my kid,” he yells, voice cracking as he speaks - tears threatening to spill as he imagines Madi - sweet, kind, innocent Madi - screaming in pain as electricity burrows into her muscles, her bones. 

“I was trying to protect her.” 

Murphy’s fist collides with Clarke’s face before he can register the action. 

There are multiple pairs of hands dragging him back now but he can’t find the energy to care, letting them pull and push him away. A small hand slips into his, Madi leading him away and he follows - numb. He swears he sees Raven wink at him as they pass. 

“I’m sorry,” he mutters as they walk down the hallway. “You shouldn’t have seen that.”

“It’s okay, she hurt me.”

-

Murphy stays by Madi’s side as she’s put into cryosleep, giving her one last kiss on the forehead before she goes. He hesitates by her side, watching her peaceful face. 

“Hey.” Bellamy joins his side - patting Murphy on his left shoulder. “How are you?”

Murphy scoffs. “Let me think; I’ve been shot twice, Clarke tortured my kid, and the planet’s ruined, again. So y’know, pretty good.”

Murphy’s taken aback at the smile that spreads across Bellamy’s lips, there’s a new kind of fondness in his eyes - one he never gave to Murphy before. 

“How is it possible that you’re a completely different person but still the exact same?” Bellamy asks, his voice light and teasing. 

Murphy gestures to Madi’s cryosleep pod. “Met this little shit and well, she has that effect on me.”

Bellamy’s eyes scan Murphy's face - his enamoured smile, the way his eyes have softened, and the love he clearly felt for Madi. 

“Want to know something?” Murphy briefly glances to Bellamy, shifting his weight on his feet. 

Bellamy hums in response. 

“I radioed you - every day for six years. Just in case you answered.” 

“Having a kid’s made you gone soft.”

Murphy elbows Bellamy in the side. “Shouldn’t you be asleep, old man?”

“I was waiting for you, actually,” Bellamy admits. “Come on, let’s go.”

The nearest pods are a few dozen away from Madi, Murphy watches her the entire time it takes for him to climb on top of the tray. He takes a deep breath as he gets comfortable, nodding for Bellamy to freeze him.

His last thoughts are on Madi, hoping for a better life for her when they wake up. 


End file.
